How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd;
Lately I have been struggling and run down. It's nothing new. I haven't had time to blog because I've been working and trying to finish an assignment. My health issues are getting in the way you might say! Amongst other things - I feel so drawn to creative things right now I honestly don't know how I managed 2 years full time of nutrition & dietetics. But here we are. I've also been contemplating the merits and realities of 'true love' lately, and marriage and those kinds of things. I scare myself sometimes when I think about it too hard - like are we really meant to be with someone, one person, forever? It seems that marriage and 2 kids has the ability to make many people unhappy, and dead inside. That's really sad. A tiny part of me feels it may be this trained pattern of though, like any other human habit. But if it doesn't exist then there's probably a big huge hole left behind, so where does that leave you? It's like when I was little I used to wonder about death, and I still do, and I used to imagine white. Nothing else just plain white nothingness. Everything that was and could have been and is - all gone. It scares the shit out of me. Anyway I love Andrew, I couldn't ever imagine being apart from him, but at the same time it's hard to accept how love changes, from that head over heels infatuation to more of a stable companionship. I don't know.
In other news! my bottle green tights came off ebay, I wore them to work yesterday but forgot to take a picture, so here's one the night before when I tried them on. Also got 1 pair of cool black granny boots of Etsy, they came too I'll post pics soon. Enjoy your easter breaks everyone, Andrew and I will be seeing Avett Brothers at Bluesfest on Good Friday... and this is why friday will be GOOD :-)
Also - check out "a cup full of sunshine's" blog, she is a vintage fiend and she has a cool giveaway here http://acupfullofsunshine.blogspot.com/2010/03/giveaway.html#comments
"It's like when I was little I used to wonder about death, and I still do, and I used to imagine white. Nothing else just plain white nothingness. Everything that was and could have been and is - all gone."
ReplyDeleteI think it's so interesting that you imagined white rather than black, black being the absence of all color/light and white being the full spectrum. I think you were instinctively on the right track...
Everything that was and could have been and is - all THERE.
That's the way I prefer to think of it anyway, but who knows really.
Regarding "true love" I think the important thing to remember is that it is something that requires effort on both sides in order to be sustained in whatever capacity over time. There will always be ebbs and flows but I think finding two people who care enough to put forth the effort to keep it going is the rare thing. I think people might sometimes think of marriage as reaching a point where they no longer need to try and throwing kids into the mix, while it is a huge bonding experience, it brings up a whole slough of challenges and requires that much more effort to be put forth on both sides.
Wow, you seem to have caught me on an especially philosophical day!
P.S. I loved the segue from contemplating the meaning of life and love straight into ... and here are my new green tights... now, THAT made me chuckle :)